Holy shit - those guys got high as fuck! However his description of it tasting like "farts" is clearly an example of an unrefined palate. Truly, it takes a while to pick up on the subtleties of flavor within each delicious huff, but once you've ridden the brown dragon long enough, it comes naturally.
I, for one, woke up this morning to the pressure of a long-stewing turd ready to come out. I woke up and headed straight from basecamp to my own Energor Step, where I set free a series of medium-solid logs that created a real jam-job at the base of my bowl. The pungent yet huff-tastic odors that emanated from the bowl brought me instantly from half-awake status to fully-ripped in less than 30 seconds.
I want you both to know (and I am speaking to Dorbs and Jenkem Jesus here) that the new shitter's at Council Bluff stand no chance.
I fully agree with your assessment. These gentlemen had their hearts in the right place, getting high as fuck, but their skills were a little lacking. I love the willingness and speed the first guy exhibited in huffing a balloon full of an unfamiliar substance. Kudos and bonus points for attitude. This makes up a little for his failure to swirl the sweet dragon in his lungs, and take note of the subtle complexities of it's rancid burning nuttiness. His companion had decent form, but also glossed over the finer points. These men clearly show promise, and with the right education could indeed become great learn-ed huffers in their own right. Praise Engergor.
I awoke this morning to somewhat of an emergency shit, which I was somewhat dreading anyway due to the two scoops of chipotle's hot salsa on the giant steak burrito I drove into the giant cheeseburger locker that is my gut. I new there would be repercussions, but I did not expect to have to see what my best 40 meter sprint time is right when I cracked my eyes open. Fuck Usain Bolt. I got this shit covered. Bitch.
I too am very excited to unleash the shit shotgun in the new bluff facilities. I plan to fine tune my diet and beer intake to produce a variety of turds, running the gamut from the Morning Mountain Mist to the Lumber Jack Log. We will be laying the foundation for a jenkem that will be trapped in the shitter for generations to come. Years from now our children's children will be getting high on the butter that we will be producing in a little over a month's time. I wonder if they will still be allowed to go into the old toilet and sample the jekem handed down from generations before us. I believe it is their Energor given right as Americans. I vow as your own personal Jenkem Jesus, To produce the finest jenkem ingredients that I possibly can for this project. Our children our are future. It will hopefully be a long Energordamn time before I have any. Amen Doctor Jenkem Jesus esquire
Today, while seated on Mt Kohler unleashing a turd tornado, I thought of a new manure-ver called the Gargoyle. It involves standing on the seat of the Energor step to release your brown snakes. Outstreched arms are optional, but highly recommended. Doctor
I am happy to say that myself and Mrs. Crotch headed down to Council Blorff this weekend for an overnight backpacking trip to the top of Johnston Mountain. The big takeaway for me, from this trip, is that this Missus really enjoyed the renovated poopers at the beach. Doctor, I'm sure you are familiar with them. The were renovated this past spring, and are open for business. They added some pit toilets, and renovated the beach shower/pooper building, which my wife used to great effect on both the outgoing and return trip. Normally she is not at ease using foreign bathrooms, but these were apparently a tranquil enough of a setting for her to drop some pre-hike bombs.
Additionally, i was able to utilize my special backpack-friendly jenkem huffing unit, which, not unlike a CO2 cartridge, contains compressed jenkem gas, which is easily packable and very tough, unlike a fully-inflated balloon. Then, upon reaching our destination, I use the special attachment, kind of like a scuba rebreather used by James Bond: http://www.gqmagazine.fr/uploads/images/thumbs/200843/081020_les_gadgets_de_james_bond_aspx_ss_image_meurs_un_autre_jour_2_jpg_52868944_north_628x.jpg
I was atop Johnston Mountain, and it was as if I was also atop Mt. Kohler. I could see the Zambian Plains from up there, and the street children were running free - and high as fuck.
Doctor, nice term - "manure-ver." Now if you'll excuse me, I had better go let loose this log into the porcelain mouth before heading to the chiropractor, lest he put too much pressure in the wrong spot, causing me to squirt out an unexpected brown stream.
Glad to hear of your trip Mr Crotchington. Also glad to hear about the ever improving shitter situation at Council Blorf. It sounds like whoever is in charge there takes shitting seriously, as do I. It also sounds like they have a jenkem goldmine on their hands, and all they have to do is keep stocking it with T.P., and I guess they really don't even have to do that. I am high(ly) excited to perform the gargoyle and many other manure-vers in October. Burning is fast approaching. I might have to try and get my hands on one of these CH4 gas masks? I think it might improve my lap times if I were high as fuck for the race, high as fuck. And on that note I am off to the cellar to find a nice tight balloon of something special to help in my training efforts. Got to keep that CH4 max nice and high. Fuck you all, and may Energor bless thee Doctor Shit Brains
Oh my Energor it stinks in here! I am happy to report that I am currently producing some of the foulest smelling farts this side of the mississippi. The annual Skull Valley loop challenge road race is coming up and this will be my fourth year doing sag support, which is a requirement of my job as the owner of the shop is putting on the race. Yesterday I left work a little early to ride home, eat, and drive back to town for the meeting. Here is a quick rundown of ingestion: 2 torpedos, pasta, and some chinese translation pre-game, 2 PBRs at said meeting, to 1k imperial IPAs at the brewpub with the boss post meeting. I have been producing horrendous gaseous outbursts for about 12 hours now. I have already been to the top of the mountain once this morning, coming within a ball hair of experiencing the dreaded Oprah Oh-No. I couldn't believe the mountain of not very solid shit that I had produced once I gazed upon it. I have a feeling that wasn't the end of it either. Thank you and goodnight, Doctor
Check out the jenkem lab busted video in the lower right hand corner. Also quality entertainment. I'm fucking riding the brown dragon bitches!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHoly shit - those guys got high as fuck! However his description of it tasting like "farts" is clearly an example of an unrefined palate. Truly, it takes a while to pick up on the subtleties of flavor within each delicious huff, but once you've ridden the brown dragon long enough, it comes naturally.
ReplyDeleteI, for one, woke up this morning to the pressure of a long-stewing turd ready to come out. I woke up and headed straight from basecamp to my own Energor Step, where I set free a series of medium-solid logs that created a real jam-job at the base of my bowl. The pungent yet huff-tastic odors that emanated from the bowl brought me instantly from half-awake status to fully-ripped in less than 30 seconds.
I want you both to know (and I am speaking to Dorbs and Jenkem Jesus here) that the new shitter's at Council Bluff stand no chance.
-Casey F. Ryback, Regular guy
I fully agree with your assessment. These gentlemen had their hearts in the right place, getting high as fuck, but their skills were a little lacking. I love the willingness and speed the first guy exhibited in huffing a balloon full of an unfamiliar substance. Kudos and bonus points for attitude. This makes up a little for his failure to swirl the sweet dragon in his lungs, and take note of the subtle complexities of it's rancid burning nuttiness. His companion had decent form, but also glossed over the finer points. These men clearly show promise, and with the right education could indeed become great learn-ed huffers in their own right. Praise Engergor.
ReplyDeleteI awoke this morning to somewhat of an emergency shit, which I was somewhat dreading anyway due to the two scoops of chipotle's hot salsa on the giant steak burrito I drove into the giant cheeseburger locker that is my gut. I new there would be repercussions, but I did not expect to have to see what my best 40 meter sprint time is right when I cracked my eyes open. Fuck Usain Bolt. I got this shit covered. Bitch.
I too am very excited to unleash the shit shotgun in the new bluff facilities. I plan to fine tune my diet and beer intake to produce a variety of turds, running the gamut from the Morning Mountain Mist to the Lumber Jack Log. We will be laying the foundation for a jenkem that will be trapped in the shitter for generations to come. Years from now our children's children will be getting high on the butter that we will be producing in a little over a month's time. I wonder if they will still be allowed to go into the old toilet and sample the jekem handed down from generations before us. I believe it is their Energor given right as Americans. I vow as your own personal Jenkem Jesus, To produce the finest jenkem ingredients that I possibly can for this project. Our children our are future. It will hopefully be a long Energordamn time before I have any.
Amen
Doctor Jenkem Jesus esquire
Today, while seated on Mt Kohler unleashing a turd tornado, I thought of a new manure-ver called the Gargoyle. It involves standing on the seat of the Energor step to release your brown snakes. Outstreched arms are optional, but highly recommended.
ReplyDeleteDoctor
I am happy to say that myself and Mrs. Crotch headed down to Council Blorff this weekend for an overnight backpacking trip to the top of Johnston Mountain. The big takeaway for me, from this trip, is that this Missus really enjoyed the renovated poopers at the beach. Doctor, I'm sure you are familiar with them. The were renovated this past spring, and are open for business. They added some pit toilets, and renovated the beach shower/pooper building, which my wife used to great effect on both the outgoing and return trip. Normally she is not at ease using foreign bathrooms, but these were apparently a tranquil enough of a setting for her to drop some pre-hike bombs.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, i was able to utilize my special backpack-friendly jenkem huffing unit, which, not unlike a CO2 cartridge, contains compressed jenkem gas, which is easily packable and very tough, unlike a fully-inflated balloon. Then, upon reaching our destination, I use the special attachment, kind of like a scuba rebreather used by James Bond: http://www.gqmagazine.fr/uploads/images/thumbs/200843/081020_les_gadgets_de_james_bond_aspx_ss_image_meurs_un_autre_jour_2_jpg_52868944_north_628x.jpg
I was atop Johnston Mountain, and it was as if I was also atop Mt. Kohler. I could see the Zambian Plains from up there, and the street children were running free - and high as fuck.
Doctor, nice term - "manure-ver." Now if you'll excuse me, I had better go let loose this log into the porcelain mouth before heading to the chiropractor, lest he put too much pressure in the wrong spot, causing me to squirt out an unexpected brown stream.
Glad to hear of your trip Mr Crotchington. Also glad to hear about the ever improving shitter situation at Council Blorf. It sounds like whoever is in charge there takes shitting seriously, as do I. It also sounds like they have a jenkem goldmine on their hands, and all they have to do is keep stocking it with T.P., and I guess they really don't even have to do that. I am high(ly) excited to perform the gargoyle and many other manure-vers in October. Burning is fast approaching. I might have to try and get my hands on one of these CH4 gas masks? I think it might improve my lap times if I were high as fuck for the race, high as fuck. And on that note I am off to the cellar to find a nice tight balloon of something special to help in my training efforts. Got to keep that CH4 max nice and high.
ReplyDeleteFuck you all, and may Energor bless thee
Doctor Shit Brains
Oh my Energor it stinks in here! I am happy to report that I am currently producing some of the foulest smelling farts this side of the mississippi. The annual Skull Valley loop challenge road race is coming up and this will be my fourth year doing sag support, which is a requirement of my job as the owner of the shop is putting on the race. Yesterday I left work a little early to ride home, eat, and drive back to town for the meeting. Here is a quick rundown of ingestion: 2 torpedos, pasta, and some chinese translation pre-game, 2 PBRs at said meeting, to 1k imperial IPAs at the brewpub with the boss post meeting. I have been producing horrendous gaseous outbursts for about 12 hours now. I have already been to the top of the mountain once this morning, coming within a ball hair of experiencing the dreaded Oprah Oh-No. I couldn't believe the mountain of not very solid shit that I had produced once I gazed upon it. I have a feeling that wasn't the end of it either.
ReplyDeleteThank you and goodnight,
Doctor