El Jenkem - Demasiado es Demasiado

Buenos dias fellow huffers, I hope that my absence has not created a void so massive in your life that you pondered stuffing your head in the bowl right after a big dump and repeatedly flushing until all of the shampoo has been washed out of your hair. The lack of entertainment from my finger tips is not due to laziness or demasiado huffing, a fate that has begun to rule our good Doctors life, in fact the lack of communication has been for your own good.
As we rolled into September I set out on a jenkemquest to the lands of our NAFTA neighbor, Mexico, where I continued my research laid out in Thoughts From The Balloon. What I learned is that the country famous for tequila, Corona, Montezuma's Revenge and the Donkey show

is not an ideal location to source ideal commercial grade jenkem brewing vessels but when it comes to hand blown glass containers there is no place like home (or in this case casa). The quality of the hand blown vessels lies in the size and thickness of the glass which allows for higher pressure associated with prolonged fermentation in extremely hot, humid conditions. Just think of the volumes you could produce with one of these babies.

But for now enough on the subject of fermentation vessels, we will come back to these in future ramblings when we ponder the question - can you produce jenkem in a water bottle mounted to your frame. Now on to the next chapter of Jenkem world, the proper food groups required for optimal huffing. The sole purpose of the Mexico extravaganza was to produce variations, based on diet, of the anal spray associated with Montezuma's Revenge and produce I did.
Immediately upon arrival, in a show of total commitment to our cause, I went to the seediest local roadside tacaria and ordered up the local fair along with a margarita on the rocks (and I can confirm those nasty rumors about the water is true, even in it's frozen state). Having downed the mix of dog meat, rotten lettuce, moldy cheese and sour cream that had been in the sun for most of the day I popped over to the local market and grabbed a handful of habanero peppers and stuffed those babies down my pie hole. Suddenly in the middle of the night there was a massive rumble, the kind that would leave a resident of San Francisco scurrying for the nearest desk to hide under but this rumble was one of sheer intestinal fortitude. And let me tell you it's a good thing those hand blown jars are strong and have wide mouths because when my taint let go it was like watching a seltzer bottle being filled - fast, furious and messy.
Having gotten off the subject just a bit what was learned South of the border is that a)lettuce (especially shredded) creates massive amounts of surface area thus increasing the gas that serves as a catalyst for jenkem, b) habaneros make for a sharp/spicy bouquet that will singe the hairs of your nose (should you be one that likes to snort jenkem and c) the bacteria in the local water guarantees an extra soft/watery stool that when combined with the contents of your bladder (that means Corona) makes for an extraordinary almost ready to huff out of your ass jenkem. To sum it up, if you want a cheap, fast high head south young man.
Next we plan on heading to France, home to some of the greatest cheeses of the world where we intend to consume so much cheese that it will be like shitting an adobe brick when one of those asshole ripping craps finally does occur. Rumor has it that the French are also experimenting with cold fermentation process deep in the caves that once housed the famous champagnes of the region.

IT's all about the jenkem

Greetings Jenkem World. Something amazing has come to my attention. Mrs Doctor and I were watching the movie IT, from a novel written by Stephen King. As we watched it dawned on me that the entire movie is about jenkem. I have seen this movie before, but it was a long time ago and I didn't make the connection. It all seems pretty obvious to me now. In the story the children in a small town have to battle some sort of demon that is killing other kids in town. This demon lives in the sewer mostly, but is embodied by Pennywise the clown, who haunts the children with hallucinations, almost always involving nice tight balloons. The kids climb into the sewer to battle the demon, apparently winning, until it returns in their adult years and they have to return to the sewer to battle it again. This movie is clearly about jenkem. This raises many questions. Was Stephen King under the influence of the brown dragon when he wrote the book? Did he get high on his own supply, or was he employing the grab and stuff method at the local sewer? Was he huffing jenkem with children?

         
These photos clearly prove my theory as does the expression on John Ritter's face. It makes me wonder if there is a dark side to the brown dragon that we have been protected from by our Lord Energor. Are we Jenkem Shamans, fighting spiritual battles as many tribal shamans do under the influence of psychedelics? I am going to go hit a very special balloon and find out. The jenkem I will be huffing was fermented in the ships decanter with turds formed from a steady diet of cheap hot dogs and miller high life. Hopefully I will win the spiritual battle with the forces of evil.



   
Dr Jenkem Shaman