Thursday, October 31, 2013
Jenkem Industries PLC Inks Endorsement Deal
Our Zambian cousins recently signed a washed up athlete to a lucrative endorsement contract. Seems this lad didn't mind doping in his day and will now be an official tester for Jenkem Industries PLC. His first assignment was at Council Bluff where he was responsible for stuffing his head down the hole of this fine facility and taking a few big huffs to test the quality of our staff's product.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Riding The J Train
One of the great things in life is experiencing something new and getting to share it with the world. Well today was one of those days and it is too incredible an experience to keep to myself.
It was a long day at the office and despite dropping a deuce with the morning coffee at the house, on the way home the old dark stark started puckering as it tried to keep that turtle in it's shell. Hopping onto a near empty subway it looked to be smooth sailing and hopefully on the quick end of the normal 45 minute commute. Well right before the doors shut on trundled two women, one with a wheelchair bound teen and the other with a 3-4 yr old at her hip and the toddler passed out cold in the stroller.
It didn't take long to realize why the yoot was in such a comatose state. Slowly rising from the depths of a very full diaper the fine bouquet of youngster jenkem began to fill the subway car and there was no way out. I could only imagine the buzz that kid had going, just thing how quick it must ferment when you shit in your diapers then piss and it all bakes in a diaper designed to prevent leaking with a brewing temp of 98.6 degrees F.
I was able to make my way forward in the car despite the whole world spinning and every passenger looking like the image of my long departed mother. It was rather amusing to watch at each stop as rider fled like lemmings off a sinking ship and a new mob moved in and it was usually within 45 seconds that you could see the noses crinkle and the eyes rolling up into their heads. Suddenly everyone on the subway realized the 4 train had truly become the J Train.
It was a long day at the office and despite dropping a deuce with the morning coffee at the house, on the way home the old dark stark started puckering as it tried to keep that turtle in it's shell. Hopping onto a near empty subway it looked to be smooth sailing and hopefully on the quick end of the normal 45 minute commute. Well right before the doors shut on trundled two women, one with a wheelchair bound teen and the other with a 3-4 yr old at her hip and the toddler passed out cold in the stroller.
I was able to make my way forward in the car despite the whole world spinning and every passenger looking like the image of my long departed mother. It was rather amusing to watch at each stop as rider fled like lemmings off a sinking ship and a new mob moved in and it was usually within 45 seconds that you could see the noses crinkle and the eyes rolling up into their heads. Suddenly everyone on the subway realized the 4 train had truly become the J Train.
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