Took a quick spin around the site this morning while waiting for the coffee to bring on the shit storm, and I have to say that I am highly impressed. I can't wait till the guy leaves a post on the "luckiest last name" link. He has no idea the sheer volume, and quality, of the comments he will receive on that glorious day. I also have to say I am quite proud to have authored the jenkem-ku of the month. Truly an honor. The huff of the month pic has long been my favorite. It is my first memory of jenkem. This kid started it all. I got to work one afternoon, back in the TC Man days, and found Crotch and Robort giggling like schoolgirls. They showed me the picture, but it wasn't until they explained what was happening in the picture that my eyes were opened to the glory that is huffing shit. Thanks kid. I wonder where he is now.
I am so overcome with joy that I will leave you with a nice country song.
The only two things in life that make it worth livin are tight jenkem balloons and firm feeling women I don't need my name in the marquee lights I got my butter and you with me tonight Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of huffing
Let's go to Lung Butter Texas with Waylon and Willie and balloons This shit full life we're living got us shit huffing like little Zambian boys Between Hank Williams pain songs and Dingleberry's train songs and brown eyes pooping in the rain Out in Lung Butter Texas, ain't nobody feeling no pain.
That's all I got for now. I am sure I will be back to this site at least fifteen times today, my brains continually dripping down my sleeve. GTMV'd Doctor
My god you must have been hitting the balloon really hard, that is hte most amazor song I have ever heard. Bit of irony that our huff of the month picture is what started it all, must be the magical powers of the lung butter that enabled me to have hallcinations of what a TC Man Man would do in the back of the shop.
Do the Jenkem protocols differ if I am a circumcised descendent of the long nosed people? Is this simply endorsed by Jesus or must one be a Jesus lover to inhale? At a catholic wedding I went to, because the putz was removed from my shmuck, they wouldn't let me eat their crackers and drink their wine.
Got to give waylon a little credit for helping me write the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvZeYDBY4fw. Thanks Waylon.
Mr Kleinman, I am terribly sorry to hear about your brush with racism. You will be happy to know that in the jenkem community people don't give a fuck,, about anything really. As far as Jesus goes, I always got the impression that he was a drunken hobo, running around the desert with a bunch of other drunken hobos, and having great hallucinations due to extreme dehydration. Today I learned that not only was he drunk and dehydrated, he was high on the brown dragon too. The center of a religion that has had so much influence for the past 2,000 years huffed shit. This raises a lot of questions. Did he employ the Scarface method, getting high on his own supply, or did he have a disciple with extremely pungent outbursts providing superior ingredients for a more sassy jenkem. Maybe Christ and his followers had a communal sewage pond and employed the grab and stuff method. How far back does biblical jenkem use go. What was in the ark of the covenant, possibly Abraham's jenkem? Were the Jews huffing jenkem when they wandered the desert for 40 years. Why else would you wander the desert for 40 years? Did ancient alien astronauts give them balloons? Did jenkem use play a role in their becoming the long nose people? Archaeologists will certainly debate these questions for many years to come. Only Energor really knows for sure. The only way to find the answer is diligent jenkem goggled meditation.
One must note that in numerous instances the holy scriptures make mention of the barnyard animals and that as a swaddled youth the young baby jesus was born among these animals. We have dispersed a team to the Middle East for an archaeological dig to determine if the holy one was in fact a huffer of donkey jenkem or not. There are secret biblical writing that point to his ability to walk on water and part the seas as a result of huffing a fine elixir of donkey/sow jenkem.
Donkey jenkem is the shit. My neighbors have horses, and I often collect specimens from their stable to make my own barnyard jenkem. Since it is pretty much entirely made from hay, it has a little mellower high than, say Thai food/beer/ice cream jenkem. It is great for a morning huff before work, really gets the morning started out right. All this talk of barnyards really has me in the mood for a nice lung busting pull off of the balloon, and a sweet country song. Willie is going to help me out with this little ditty.
Blow me up and huff me when I die If anyone don't like it just piss in their eye I didn't come here and I ain't leavin so don't sit around and cry Just blow me up and huff me when I die.
You won't see no sad and teary eyes When I huff my jenkem it's my time to fly Just call my friends and tell them We're huffing come on by And just blow me up and huff me when I die.
Well just take me out and put me in a bucket Balloon it and let it ferment for a week When the balloon is tight Then the time is right Just blow me up and huff me when I die
Blow me up and huff me when I die If anyone don't like it, just piss right in their eye I didn't come here and I ain't leavin So don't sit around and cry Just blow me up and huff me when I die
Thanks Willie. Couldn't have done it without you.
The coffee is starting to knock something loose, so it's time for me to rope up and climb very near to the summit of Mt. Kohler and unleash a turd storm that would make our lord Energor proud. Pasta usually gives me pretty good volume, so maybe I will do a little grab and stuff, grab bottle and balloon, and make a nice addition to the jenkem cellar. I keep my jenkem cellar brightly lit, and at 110 degrees to promote fermentation. While I am adding my new batch, I will grab a balloon of the very special jenkem I produced about two weeks ago after taco night. I am sure to be high as shit all day. I hope I don't have too much to do at work, I'll probably do a shitty job. Doctor Lung Butter
Doctor, you are truly a wise man beyond the brilliance of our generation. A man of true healing and inspiration. Inspired by your knowledge and by the upcoming archaeological excavation that East Coast has organized, I looked into the bible and realized that Ezekeiel 4:12 very clearly alludes to Jenkem production, "You shall eat it as a barley cake, having baked it in their sight over human dung". This is clearly instruction to infuse the food that the Hebrews ate with Jenkem. It is perplexing why, though Ezekiel did not instruct them to directly inhale Jenkem. And I believe that thousands of years of human evolution was necessary until the body became able to accept Jenkem straight up. It is amazing that the children of Lusaka discovered to us this pivotal step in human evolution. I'm not sure the evolutionary biologists of our day fully recognize how important our generation is nor appreciate how enlightened and significant the Zambians are in human development.
Took a quick spin around the site this morning while waiting for the coffee to bring on the shit storm, and I have to say that I am highly impressed. I can't wait till the guy leaves a post on the "luckiest last name" link. He has no idea the sheer volume, and quality, of the comments he will receive on that glorious day. I also have to say I am quite proud to have authored the jenkem-ku of the month. Truly an honor. The huff of the month pic has long been my favorite. It is my first memory of jenkem. This kid started it all. I got to work one afternoon, back in the TC Man days, and found Crotch and Robort giggling like schoolgirls. They showed me the picture, but it wasn't until they explained what was happening in the picture that my eyes were opened to the glory that is huffing shit. Thanks kid. I wonder where he is now.
ReplyDeleteI am so overcome with joy that I will leave you with a nice country song.
The only two things in life that make it worth livin
are tight jenkem balloons and firm feeling women
I don't need my name in the marquee lights
I got my butter and you with me tonight
Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of huffing
Let's go to Lung Butter Texas
with Waylon and Willie and balloons
This shit full life we're living
got us shit huffing like little Zambian boys
Between Hank Williams pain songs
and Dingleberry's train songs
and brown eyes pooping in the rain
Out in Lung Butter Texas, ain't nobody feeling no pain.
That's all I got for now. I am sure I will be back to this site at least fifteen times today, my brains continually dripping down my sleeve.
GTMV'd
Doctor
My god you must have been hitting the balloon really hard, that is hte most amazor song I have ever heard. Bit of irony that our huff of the month picture is what started it all, must be the magical powers of the lung butter that enabled me to have hallcinations of what a TC Man Man would do in the back of the shop.
ReplyDeleteDo the Jenkem protocols differ if I am a circumcised descendent of the long nosed people? Is this simply endorsed by Jesus or must one be a Jesus lover to inhale? At a catholic wedding I went to, because the putz was removed from my shmuck, they wouldn't let me eat their crackers and drink their wine.
ReplyDeleteGot to give waylon a little credit for helping me write the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvZeYDBY4fw. Thanks Waylon.
ReplyDeleteMr Kleinman, I am terribly sorry to hear about your brush with racism. You will be happy to know that in the jenkem community people don't give a fuck,, about anything really. As far as Jesus goes, I always got the impression that he was a drunken hobo, running around the desert with a bunch of other drunken hobos, and having great hallucinations due to extreme dehydration. Today I learned that not only was he drunk and dehydrated, he was high on the brown dragon too. The center of a religion that has had so much influence for the past 2,000 years huffed shit. This raises a lot of questions. Did he employ the Scarface method, getting high on his own supply, or did he have a disciple with extremely pungent outbursts providing superior ingredients for a more sassy jenkem. Maybe Christ and his followers had a communal sewage pond and employed the grab and stuff method. How far back does biblical jenkem use go. What was in the ark of the covenant, possibly Abraham's jenkem? Were the Jews huffing jenkem when they wandered the desert for 40 years. Why else would you wander the desert for 40 years? Did ancient alien astronauts give them balloons? Did jenkem use play a role in their becoming the long nose people? Archaeologists will certainly debate these questions for many years to come. Only Energor really knows for sure. The only way to find the answer is diligent jenkem goggled meditation.
Doctor
One must note that in numerous instances the holy scriptures make mention of the barnyard animals and that as a swaddled youth the young baby jesus was born among these animals. We have dispersed a team to the Middle East for an archaeological dig to determine if the holy one was in fact a huffer of donkey jenkem or not. There are secret biblical writing that point to his ability to walk on water and part the seas as a result of huffing a fine elixir of donkey/sow jenkem.
ReplyDeleteDonkey jenkem is the shit. My neighbors have horses, and I often collect specimens from their stable to make my own barnyard jenkem. Since it is pretty much entirely made from hay, it has a little mellower high than, say Thai food/beer/ice cream jenkem. It is great for a morning huff before work, really gets the morning started out right. All this talk of barnyards really has me in the mood for a nice lung busting pull off of the balloon, and a sweet country song. Willie is going to help me out with this little ditty.
ReplyDeleteBlow me up and huff me when I die
If anyone don't like it just piss in their eye
I didn't come here and I ain't leavin
so don't sit around and cry
Just blow me up and huff me when I die.
You won't see no sad and teary eyes
When I huff my jenkem it's my time to fly
Just call my friends and tell them
We're huffing come on by
And just blow me up and huff me when I die.
Well just take me out and put me in a bucket
Balloon it and let it ferment for a week
When the balloon is tight
Then the time is right
Just blow me up and huff me when I die
Blow me up and huff me when I die
If anyone don't like it, just piss right in their eye
I didn't come here and I ain't leavin
So don't sit around and cry
Just blow me up and huff me when I die
Thanks Willie. Couldn't have done it without you.
The coffee is starting to knock something loose, so it's time for me to rope up and climb very near to the summit of Mt. Kohler and unleash a turd storm that would make our lord Energor proud. Pasta usually gives me pretty good volume, so maybe I will do a little grab and stuff, grab bottle and balloon, and make a nice addition to the jenkem cellar. I keep my jenkem cellar brightly lit, and at 110 degrees to promote fermentation. While I am adding my new batch, I will grab a balloon of the very special jenkem I produced about two weeks ago after taco night. I am sure to be high as shit all day. I hope I don't have too much to do at work, I'll probably do a shitty job.
Doctor Lung Butter
I just shit myself.
ReplyDeleteDoctor, you are truly a wise man beyond the brilliance of our generation. A man of true healing and inspiration. Inspired by your knowledge and by the upcoming archaeological excavation that East Coast has organized, I looked into the bible and realized that Ezekeiel 4:12 very clearly alludes to Jenkem production, "You shall eat it as a barley cake, having baked it in their sight over human dung". This is clearly instruction to infuse the food that the Hebrews ate with Jenkem. It is perplexing why, though Ezekiel did not instruct them to directly inhale Jenkem. And I believe that thousands of years of human evolution was necessary until the body became able to accept Jenkem straight up. It is amazing that the children of Lusaka discovered to us this pivotal step in human evolution. I'm not sure the evolutionary biologists of our day fully recognize how important our generation is nor appreciate how enlightened and significant the Zambians are in human development.
ReplyDelete