| Prescott man calls mud hut home while on Peace Corps humanitarian mission in Africa | ||
The article begins: Prescott resident David Berger is educating people in Zambia about hygiene and healthcare while living in a mud-brick hut with a grass thatch roof.
It is accompanied by this picture:
Courtesy photoDavid Berger, from left, a Peace Corps volunteer in Zambia from Prescott; U.S. Ambassador to Zambia Mark C. Storella; and His Royal Highness Chief Chisunka inspect the modifications Berger made to the chief’s hut.
How the fuck could this happen without me knowing about it. I kid you not, I spent a half hour cleaning shit off of myself and the couch, of course bottling it for later. The crazy part is that this guy is a customer at the shop. Of course I was shocked to see this, but I was also a little hurt. He didn't even offer to bring me to Zambia. Maybe I wanted to hangout with Chief Chisunka, huffing jenkem with the ambassador, hitting all the cool sewage ponds. I felt a little betrayed. Then it occurred to me, he doesn't know that I am on jenkem. I assumed that everyone can tell I am always riding the brown dragon. I am always worried that I look like I am too high at the shop. Apparently I am keeping it together pretty well. He must think that I just have horrible breath all the time.
I believe that this David Berger character has something to do with the Zambian street children showing up in Prescott all of a sudden. I can't decide if it is a human trafficking ring or a jenkem smuggling operation. What is Ambassador Storella's role in all of this. One thing can be told for certain; judging from the photo Cheif Chisunka is a man capable of producing some fine jenkem ingredients.
More on this breaking story as it unfolds.
Doctor
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDoctor,
ReplyDeleteI feel that your life is in grave danger and therefore I must warn you. All indications point to the fact that the Zambian children are in fact in AZ to share their jenkem with you and introduce America to Jenkem. (Little do they know, us Americans have developed far superior methods of jenkem production, as you know but they do not realized this yet.
HOWEVER, the adults of Lusaka, and particular, the government officials, do not want jenkem being shared with anyone outside of Zambia. You see, they are a very insular people with great national pride. Elitist to an extreme and they do not want any non-Zambians inhaling jenkem. That is sacrilegious to them. They are willing to fight and kill to keep the secret of jenkem within their people.
When they heard that the male children of Lusaka have come to the states to share their jenkem, they immediately dispatched a team of highly trained specialists to prevent this from happening. It is sad, since the children are here to sell their jenkem just so that they can use the profits to donate to their charity, Feed the Starving White Children of American Millionaires (FSWCA).
Therefore, anytime a Lusakan child approaches you, there is a very good chance that a Zambian secret opps agent is nearby watching closely.
My contacts in Interpol have refused to comment on this matter and are ignoring my phone calls, texts, emails, and secretly encoded satellite communications. This can only mean one thing-the shit is getting real.
We must do something to protect ourselves. but for now, be on the lookout. I don't know if Chief Chisunka is in on the op or if he is being used as a front man. If he is being used, perhaps you can befriend him and convert him into a mole on our behalf.
Whatever you do, approach with extreme caution and prejudice.
Mr. Kleinman the 3rd
BTW< according to the very objective, non-government run, non-partian,newspaper, The Zambian Post online, Chief Chisunka is a man of high morals and holder of tradition. A true leader of the highest caliber (see http://www.postzambia.com/post-read_article.php?articleId=17881)
ReplyDeleteBut he is not without his legal woes for last year he was sued for likening a certain politician to a monkey in a maize field. I agree that that is very offensive. no monkey in their right might would spend time in a maize field. It's all about the bananas-not corn. (see http://allafrica.com/stories/201204020802.html)
This is an interesting angle. Perhaps the child who "helped me" the other day was merely trying to turn me into some sort of "jenkem zombie" to use as a jenkem mule. One thing we can know for sure. Chief Chisunka is a bomb droppin mother fucka. yeah. Ambassador Storella, almost certainly a millionaire with starving children, could be using the Zambians against their will, spreading jenkem to America for profit rather than spiritual enlightenment. I can only imagine that if this is the case, very soon the turds of Energor will rain down upon Mr Storella for his disrespect of the sacrament, or excrement, whichever you prefer.
ReplyDeleteI for one will do my part to figure this out in my semi crippled state, by diligently partaking in deep, jenkem goggled meditation. Hopefully my trip to the cellar will provide me with a superior blend of jenkem. I have been working on my VCh4 max by getting my heart rate up, usually via vigorous masturbation, before I hit the balloon. I have to say, I enjoy my workouts and am definitely noticing some results. I also have to say that my brain is damn nigh useless.
Thanks and Fuck You,
Doctor
I think another important matter of investigation is what is the device in Chief Chisunka's right hand. Is that a device for making jenkem or a device for inhaling. It looks like it might be a Zambian version of a hooka but it may be a disguise for something else.
ReplyDeleteWorking on your VCh4 max is indeed a worthwhile endeavor. And the method you have chosen in fact has been documented to work wonders.
I wish the device were not cut off in the photo. Did someone purposefully leave out the bottom of the object? Note the yellow figurine facing the brown figurine just below his hand. They appear to symbolize urine and feces respectively, the figures position facing each other may symbolize jenkem meditation. Clearly this is a jenkem related device. I guess it would be strange for the Chief to walk around huffing on balloons all the time. I would have to agree that this is most likely a hooka like device, filled with fermented sewage instead of water, and no need for tobacco which the Zambians consider to be passe.
ReplyDeleteDoctor
The symbolism is indeed striking and poignant. This is in essence the Zambian concept of Yin and Yang which the Chinese most likely stole from the Zambians. Or did the Zambians steal it from the Chinese. Do the Chinese scrolls predate the Zambian staff or vice versa. The depth of the matter keeps getting deeper-and more intriguing.
ReplyDeleteWhatever the case may be, it is clear that Chief Chisunka is a very deep, abstract man with an appreciation for such high aesthetic beauty. A man of high culture indeed. No doubt, his years of jenkem huffing helped him hone this sensitivity.
My understanding (from anonymous sources) is that Congressman Trey Raydel (in addition to his voracious cocaine habit) was a Jenkem Asshasher from way back. Does anyone have photo evidence of this?
ReplyDelete